THANKS A LOT
My Purified Sighs
I remember the first time I arrived in Belgium as a pilgrim seeking for the shining star in a huge desert. I arrived into a new world, in the beginning strength, confusing, pathetic, cold and frivolous, at the same time I had another world inside of my myself filled with desperation, anxiety and fear and with many unforgettable reminiscences: that warm atmosphere of my family, the heedfulness of my friends and the iridescence of my generous country. Two worlds! A dichotomous life! I remember those hours in my room when I was perplexed, pensive and skeptical, the most important things I did were to read, to cry and to bring into my mind some old memories of my short past. The days were passing arrogantly and petulantly while the sun was trying to break through those dark clouds of sadness which inebriated the window of my mind. At that time I was in Morzeke for one month, and then I had to move to Knesselare.
I was not with my group, I was waiting for them (the other postulants) I felt it was going to be really absorbing; indeed it was (postulancy). When I began my postulancy my eyes were already opened so I could look at my process with another perspective: more productive, human and promising. I lived together during six months with my companions (from Asia) mainly from Pakistan and Indonesia, a fertile sense of community, our activities were small but grandiose in content because we came together to celebrate the happiness of being brothers, our prayers were short but it transformed us into architects to build up the ultimate reason of our destiny, our English classes were like torches in a dark tunnel, so my English became step by step quite hieratic, pragmatic, extensive and elegant. If I have to summarize my postulancy I shall say it in a poetical way: it was a citadel guarded by thick wall of formative refreshments which do not fall down before the trumpet’s blast of our auto sufficience, egoism and indifference. That experience was not extensive but intensive.
After six months another facet came as the sound of vernal showers, as a panegyric, as a prefiguration of a destiny. I entered into a new process (Novitiate), it started with that day of transformation, transfiguration and conversion (Oblation). Things were different so I needed to adapt myself to that new experience. Obviously the most important in this process was the interiorization of this divine process towards a better understanding of our consecration to God exclusively. It was summer when all began, those green and attractive trees, the green grass, those smiling flowers were decorating our temple of formation, the sunshine sometimes was suffocating but the freshness of the novitiate could make of it a perfect elixir for our conviviality. There are many beautiful moments which are printed with golden letters in the pages of my heart, as for example: our moments of prayer, our moments of recreation, our Gospel sharing, our meals, our outings, our activities, our manual works, our community meetings and our classes. These things were incumbent pillars in our human and spiritual development. In the beginning I missed my family quite a lot but at that moment I could breathe in a new atmosphere, I could feel the hugs of a bigger family.
The first year of the Novitiate has already become a living cell in my organism; if I have to summarize it I shall say: it was a concrete Damascus’ experience. After it was finished I asked to come here (Kruibeke) for the second year of this productive period, meaning I am finishing the second year of my Novitiate here, I am taking some classes as part of my program. I am already nine months in this new community. Up to now everything is pertinent and formative. I met new people from Asia and Africa and I feel that conviviality is only possible when we put our universal brotherhood under the protection of the fatherhood of God.
I look back and I see thing with another conception, for example that huge desert has become an oasis, those profound sighs of sadness have become healing power to purify myself. I am different. There is nothing constant except change says the Philosopher.
We arrive in one place, we indite some memories, we meet amazing people, we build up our lives’ tower, we carve the sculpture of ourselves with our hands. Everything is in flux. We say nice to meet you and good bye as well, in some month’s time that will be my case I will have to say: see you next time because I am going back to Peru after I finish my Novitiate (August 2010), after two years and a half. As I said before I will bring indescribable memories: the golden heart of the Belgium Brothers, the heat of a small country but magnanimous in benevolence and hospitality and my Novitiate as a cardinal point of my trip to tomorrow. Probably it is not important but it is a part of my happiness as well, I will remember those splendid moments with a glass of Jupiler, Palm, Leffel, Duvel, De Koninck, Equinox, Trappist, etc. I would be an unfortunate man if I forget Belgium people I met during my stay. The particularities I am going to tell about them are more real than the reality. They are munificent, attentive, friendly and charming. It was, it is and it will be for me an ineffable experience to meet human beings. They are few, but they are.
That is why in advance I would like to thank my congregation for this marvelous opportunity. Thank you very much for giving me the time to cement my vocation, thank you for your concern, for the meaningful formation, for trusting me, for the warm accommodation, thanks for putting your soft hand on my shoulder.
I still have some months left however my heart tells me to keep silence in this moment is a “sin”. That is why I am writing this message with the aromatic ink I have my veins.
I personally do not believe in farewells, I think there are only encounters. I feel sad but excited at the same time.
I remember the first time I arrived in Belgium as a pilgrim seeking for the shining star in a huge desert. I arrived into a new world, in the beginning strength, confusing, pathetic, cold and frivolous, at the same time I had another world inside of my myself filled with desperation, anxiety and fear and with many unforgettable reminiscences: that warm atmosphere of my family, the heedfulness of my friends and the iridescence of my generous country. Two worlds! A dichotomous life! I remember those hours in my room when I was perplexed, pensive and skeptical, the most important things I did were to read, to cry and to bring into my mind some old memories of my short past. The days were passing arrogantly and petulantly while the sun was trying to break through those dark clouds of sadness which inebriated the window of my mind. At that time I was in Morzeke for one month, and then I had to move to Knesselare.
I was not with my group, I was waiting for them (the other postulants) I felt it was going to be really absorbing; indeed it was (postulancy). When I began my postulancy my eyes were already opened so I could look at my process with another perspective: more productive, human and promising. I lived together during six months with my companions (from Asia) mainly from Pakistan and Indonesia, a fertile sense of community, our activities were small but grandiose in content because we came together to celebrate the happiness of being brothers, our prayers were short but it transformed us into architects to build up the ultimate reason of our destiny, our English classes were like torches in a dark tunnel, so my English became step by step quite hieratic, pragmatic, extensive and elegant. If I have to summarize my postulancy I shall say it in a poetical way: it was a citadel guarded by thick wall of formative refreshments which do not fall down before the trumpet’s blast of our auto sufficience, egoism and indifference. That experience was not extensive but intensive.
After six months another facet came as the sound of vernal showers, as a panegyric, as a prefiguration of a destiny. I entered into a new process (Novitiate), it started with that day of transformation, transfiguration and conversion (Oblation). Things were different so I needed to adapt myself to that new experience. Obviously the most important in this process was the interiorization of this divine process towards a better understanding of our consecration to God exclusively. It was summer when all began, those green and attractive trees, the green grass, those smiling flowers were decorating our temple of formation, the sunshine sometimes was suffocating but the freshness of the novitiate could make of it a perfect elixir for our conviviality. There are many beautiful moments which are printed with golden letters in the pages of my heart, as for example: our moments of prayer, our moments of recreation, our Gospel sharing, our meals, our outings, our activities, our manual works, our community meetings and our classes. These things were incumbent pillars in our human and spiritual development. In the beginning I missed my family quite a lot but at that moment I could breathe in a new atmosphere, I could feel the hugs of a bigger family.
The first year of the Novitiate has already become a living cell in my organism; if I have to summarize it I shall say: it was a concrete Damascus’ experience. After it was finished I asked to come here (Kruibeke) for the second year of this productive period, meaning I am finishing the second year of my Novitiate here, I am taking some classes as part of my program. I am already nine months in this new community. Up to now everything is pertinent and formative. I met new people from Asia and Africa and I feel that conviviality is only possible when we put our universal brotherhood under the protection of the fatherhood of God.
I look back and I see thing with another conception, for example that huge desert has become an oasis, those profound sighs of sadness have become healing power to purify myself. I am different. There is nothing constant except change says the Philosopher.
We arrive in one place, we indite some memories, we meet amazing people, we build up our lives’ tower, we carve the sculpture of ourselves with our hands. Everything is in flux. We say nice to meet you and good bye as well, in some month’s time that will be my case I will have to say: see you next time because I am going back to Peru after I finish my Novitiate (August 2010), after two years and a half. As I said before I will bring indescribable memories: the golden heart of the Belgium Brothers, the heat of a small country but magnanimous in benevolence and hospitality and my Novitiate as a cardinal point of my trip to tomorrow. Probably it is not important but it is a part of my happiness as well, I will remember those splendid moments with a glass of Jupiler, Palm, Leffel, Duvel, De Koninck, Equinox, Trappist, etc. I would be an unfortunate man if I forget Belgium people I met during my stay. The particularities I am going to tell about them are more real than the reality. They are munificent, attentive, friendly and charming. It was, it is and it will be for me an ineffable experience to meet human beings. They are few, but they are.
That is why in advance I would like to thank my congregation for this marvelous opportunity. Thank you very much for giving me the time to cement my vocation, thank you for your concern, for the meaningful formation, for trusting me, for the warm accommodation, thanks for putting your soft hand on my shoulder.
I still have some months left however my heart tells me to keep silence in this moment is a “sin”. That is why I am writing this message with the aromatic ink I have my veins.
I personally do not believe in farewells, I think there are only encounters. I feel sad but excited at the same time.
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